Who says there are no original ideas in television anymore?
Producers and executives at Discovery are apparently big fans of the 1997 movie Anaconda, and thought it would make a great idea for a new reality TV show. Or should this be called a stunt?
On Dec. 7, the network will air a program titled Eaten Alive, in which naturalist and wildlife filmmaker Paul Rosolie will allow himself to be eaten by an anaconda. Go ahead and read that sentence again, in case you think we slid past that news a little too quickly. Yes, that’s correct a man will let himself be eaten by a snake and cameras will film it. Actually, it’s already been filmed.
Rosolie will wear a “snake-proof” suit that essentially looks like an amped-up scuba diving suit (or maybe something Navy Seals would wear), presumably to protect him from fangs, venom and whatever sort of acids might be in the snake’s stomach as it attempts to digest Rosolie. But instead of my description, watch this trailer from Discovery.
According to Entertainment Weekly, Rosolie covered himself in pig’s blood to make himself more appetizing to the anaconda. (That’s probably a good idea. Have you ever tried to eat neoprene or kevlar? They just smell funny. And they’re kind of chewy.) The suit also has a cord attached to the ankle, which will allow Rosolie to be pulled back out of the snake after he’s been consumed. (Oh, yes — he’s going in head-first.) Discovery also assured the magazine that the snake did not die during this process. Or should we call it a stunt?
What we don’t know is if there will be any sort of external cameras on that “snake-proof” suit to film what’s going on inside the snake’s body as it attempts to swallow and digest Rosolie. I suppose we have to tune in to Discovery on Dec. 7 to see if that’s shown. Did it ever occur to producers or filmmakers to put a little camera on a hunk of meat and see if that would work? Maybe they tried that, and thought it worked well enough to do so with a live human being.
Of course, if it didn’t look like the scene from Anaconda — in which Jon Voight is swallowed whole, featuring a from-inside-the-snake view — maybe that would be viewed as a disappointment. Does reality live up to fantasy?
Obviously, people aren’t going to tune in to see a snake eat an inanimate piece of meat. Well, some probably would. I have relatives that will watch giraffes fight for a space in front of a tree on Animal Planet. But to see a man being eaten? To hear it? (Presumably, Rosolie will be mic’ed up during this whole process. Perhaps he’ll narrate it. “I wonder if I taste like chicken?” “So that’s what being swallowed feels like.” “Oh, man — I think a boar was in here before me!“)
Discovery isn’t the first network to think of such a television stunt. EW also reports that one of the over-the-air broadcast networks was also developing a snake-eats-man special titled Manaconda. Truly, we as a culture are the losers when we’re deprived of having something called Manaconda on our televisions. But maybe Syfy will co-opt that title, if available, for one of its excellent made-for-TV films. The Luke Perrys and Dan Corteses of the world must be hoping.
The curiosity accompanying this entire endeavor is so compelling that it will be difficult not to watch on Dec. 7. What is this going to look like? Did Rosolie and his crew really go through with this? Did it ultimately decide a guy in a scuba suit wasn’t that appetizing and move on to something else? (Maybe the snake is the one that maintained some dignity and slid away.) Will this be the wildlife version of Geraldo Rivera finding nothing in Al Capone’s vault?
Will the same threat of danger surrounding something like Nik Wallenda walking a tightrope between skyscrapers be present? It doesn’t seem possible. Though if the snake tries to crush Rosolie first to make him more digestible, maybe there will be some inherent jeopardy.
But the true enemy is reality versus imagination. Can whatever Discovery shows us in Eaten Alive possibly match up with the scene already created in our minds? At the very least, Anaconda set the bar of entertainment value pretty high. When Rosolie is pulled out of that poor snake, he has to pull off his goggles and wink at the camera like Jon Voight did after being regurgitated by his reptilian adversary. Right? Anything else would be a disappointment.
