There were a few weird things about this week’s Celebrity Apprentice. The first is that I watched it twice (I KNOW) and feel like I have less to say about the actual tasks and more about the remaining contestants.
Secondly, out of nowhere (that we’ve seen, who knows how much has been edited out), Vivica goes after Kate in the boardroom after BOTH tasks. In this episode, their cat fighting is WORSE than Brandi and Kenya’s, if you can believe it.
And finally, while it’s great that the winning project managers get money for their charities, these people are ultimately stressing and fighting and clawing at each other to avoid being fired by Donald Trump off a bad reality TV show. Perspective, people. I understand for a lot of them (KATE GOSSELIN), this is a chance to try to revive careers and/or relevancy, but I mean, really. At the end of the day, what have you really accomplished?
The beginning of the episode has Shawn interviewing that she’s surprised she’s made it this far because she is the youngest and is flying under the radar. This is inevitably laying the groundwork for her to get fired.
We see the late (and former Celebrity Apprentice winner) Joan Rivers serve as an advisor to Trumpet. He says her advice will mean a lot, but she doesn’t do much talking in this episode and instead looks like an advisory against excessive plastic surgery.
Ivanka was also an advisor for the first task, in addition to assigning the challenge revolving around her fashion brand. Using a mobile boutique, (kind of like a food truck, but for shoes) the teams will be creating a marketing event to pimp out (I’m sorry… promote) the Ivanka Trump shoe line (sold at Nordstrom!). Their main target is obviously the working woman. (And they better be working women with good jobs because good luck finding a pair of her shoes priced under $100).
Sig decides this is the time to ask the following — and this is a direct quote — “Well I mean, all of our tasks have been so feminine lately, I can’t find my penis in the morning. So the question is, when are we gonna get a guy task?”
Kate does not appreciate this comment and reacts thusly.
It’s also funny because Sig, like Shawn, has been flying under the radar and has contributed very little, but he has never been brought to the boardroom once. Kate has survived being brought back two or three times at this point. She is mostly brought back because all she does is run shopping errands, and also Vivica hates her.
Shawn, as part of Vortex, interviews that she has no experience and wouldn’t even know where to start, so Vivica snidely says that she’ll be PM— even though she has DONE IT BEFORE — since no one else is stepping up. There is already tension between Shawn and Vivica from when Shawn used the happenings of her lady business to check out of a task her team ultimately won — and is probably the only reason she hasn’t been fired already, if we’re being honest.
Kenya is the project manager for Infinity, and this is the first task where The Battle of the Bravo Bitches seems to take a back burner. She and Brandi agree on something. It’s confusing.
Geraldo says at one point, “I am amazed by my own endless creativity. I don’t mean that to be egotistical.” Bitch, please. Yes, you do! #teamstevesanders
Joan and Ivanka separately visit both mobile boutiques, with Kendra’s team ultimately winning. #teamstevesanders!
Vivica is interesting — she eviscerates Kate in the boardroom like it ain’t no thing but a chicken wing, Mamacita, but then when she talks about how Shawn hasn’t been stepping up, she starts crying. When they lose, Vivica tells Ivanka, “You’re beautiful, you’re amazing, so that’s what we honed in on.” Mood swings galore with this one. She brings Shawn and Kate back into the boardroom where Shawn is ultimately axed for not stepping up as project manager on this one because Trumpet swears that if she had done that, her team would have won. (Yeah, OK.) Initiative: she lacks it.
The second task involves creating a viral video for the Chock Full o’ Nuts coffee brand using GoPro cameras. The videos will be judged on creativity, brand message, and entertainment value. The instructions are very clear that this should not be a traditional commercial.
Lorenzo and Leeza step up as PMs, but Leeza immediately realizes the smart thing to do is have Ian direct the video. Which he does. With gusto. Maybe a bit TOO much gusto because he yells at Brandi a LOT during the editing process and one of the gals, it doesn’t really matter who, interviews that he is a bulldozer. How DARE YOU say that about Steve Sanders!
On the Team Vortex side, Lorenzo is directing what ultimately turns into a commercial, first with Geraldo and Kate in a 50s style kitchen, and then with Geraldo dancing and singing like a jackass in a tuxedo in Washington Park. So, really similar to an ACTUAL commercial, which was NOT the instruction. Lorenzo also makes a comment about Geraldo having no rhythm or something (which is true). But Geraldo disagrees.
the cruelist cut on @CelebApprentice tonight is when @lorenzolamas said that I, a Latin from Manhattan, can’t dance.
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) January 20, 2015
Leeza’s team capitalizes on the feud between Brandi and Kenya by having them fight in the street, which then turns into Ian and Johnny fantasizing about what they wanted the fight to REALLY look like. What this has to do with coffee is beyond me, but women in lingerie rolling around in bed will beat a jackass dancing in a tuxedo any day of the week.
And apparently, it wasn’t even close. Leeza’s team won by a landslide and Lorenzo is devastated ,but you GUYS do you know this means Geraldo was on the losing side of both tasks?? Of course he didn’t get fired, but that’s another story. Mr. Endless Creativity LOST TWICE. SUCK IT, GERALDO!!!
Also, something interesting happened in the boardroom with Kenya and Brandi. Even though there had been minimal conflict this episode, Kenya at one point interviewed that Brandi was out of line in the comments she’s made about Kenya to the media. That must have been alluding to the past, because in the present day — and again, I watched this episode twice — I did not see or hear anything out of line.
However. Kenya decides to bring this up to Trumpet and says something like, “I didn’t bring up Leann Rimes to HER or how her husband left her for someone younger and prettier.”
Now, to be honest, during these episodes I have remained fairly neutral in the Brandi vs. Kenya battle. I think they’re both ridiculous and I have no idea what their feud is about because I don’t watch the Real Housewives of anywhere and I don’t plan on starting anytime soon. But that was a pretty low blow from Kenya, especially since they worked well together and won the task. I kind of had to side with Brandi after that.
ANYWAY, back to Lorenzo’s devastation. I feel really bad for him because he was SO proud of this video, to the point where he lets Trumpet fire him because he cannot and will not pick two people to come back into the boardroom with him. That is ASININE. While Vivica once again throws Kate under the bus for taking too long in hair and makeup, this would have been a PRIME opportunity to bring Geraldo back to get fired. Because he deserved it.
However, I will say this. At least he can admit that they were completely outmatched by the other team:
Watching @BrandiGlanville & @KenyaMoore promote coffee w a bra-less pillow fight on @CelebApprentice was sexy & hilarious. We concede defeat — Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) January 20, 2015
As much as I hate to admit this, I can’t wait to see how this all plays out in the coming weeks. But always and forever #TeamSteveSanders!
