I think we’re at the point in Celebrity Apprentice where Geraldo must have some serious, serious dirt on Trumpet, because the fact that he is so vocal in his ideas that have helped his team lose FOUR TIMES IN A ROW and has yet to be fired is MIND BOGGLING.
For this week’s first task, each team has to create a themed guided boat tour of Manhattan on the Circle Line. While Eric and Don Don Jr are going to join each team, the winner is based solely on guest feedback. The project managers are Sig for Vortex and Brandi for Infinity. Sig figures since the task involves a boat, it must be in his wheelhouse. Unfortunately for him, Geraldo is on his team.
When it is time to come up with ideas, Geraldo immediately jumps up to throw out suggestions about the theme that are horrible and awful and terrible.
He proposes REVOLUTIONARY WAR REENACTMENTS. With ELLIS ISLAND IMMIGRANTS. MARCHING TOGETHER. THOSE THINGS HAPPENED OVER 100 YEARS APART, YOU STUPID FUCK!! Kate is not impressed.
She and Vivica at least take this opportunity to join forces and smack a bitch down. Kate knows you can’t just tell Geraldo no, you have to tell him WHY his idea has the consistency of squeaky foam so that he’s sure to agree with you. She points out that the history lesson doesn’t matter because they are being judged on the entertainment, so the theme turns into The Sexiest Catch. While it’s a little cheesy, since it doesn’t involve Geraldo in a Speedo, I can get on board.
Taking a page from last week’s pillow fight playbook with half-naked women sealing a win, Geraldo and Sig decide to secure Hooters girls for their tour even though Kate and Vivica are more like
Meanwhile, back with the Bravo Bitches, Brandi is sure Ian and Kenya are out to sabotage her. Kenya maybe, but Steve Sanders would NEVER. #TeamSteveSanders.
Brandi says about Kenya, and I quote, “I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her, and I can’t even pick that bitch up.” How lovely.
Brandi’s team initially settles on a Mardi Gras theme, even though Brandi doesn’t love it, nor does Johnny. Oh and one other thing, THEY AREN’T IN NEW ORLEANS. And as we saw with Jamie, agreeing to a theme or idea you’re not fully invested in does not turn out well.
Brandi decides that they are going to change the theme.
The new concept is Big Apple Bonanza — Brandi says she has saved the team by changing the concept.
During the tours, things happen like Geraldo screaming, “Screw the terrorists, we’ve won!” And Kenya performs her song, which… I didn’t know she HAD one, but apparently she’s FABULOUS.
In the contest of who turned off the guests MORE, Geraldo and company win. Which means Brandi’s team REALLY wins and poor Sig looks HEARTBROKEN.
Trumpet is still going to give $25,000 to Sig’s charity, the Coast Guard. But Trumpet fires Sig — even though Geraldo sucks and the guest feedback was that they found him to be polarizing. The specific negative comments were twofold: 1) Hooters girls and 2) Geraldo. The Hooters girls were 50% Geraldo and his polarizing commentary was 100% him, so that means he is 150% responsible for the loss but Sig gets fired. Where is the justice, people?
Before the next task, Kenya is sent to Vortex since it has been decimated. Brandi interviews, “Yay, we got rid of the devil!”
So in case you care, the teams are now: Kenya, Geraldo, Kate and Vivica vs. Ian, Brandi, Johnny and Leeza.
#RIP Battle of the Bravo Bitches. Now that Kenya and Brandi have been separated, 75% of the tension is gone.
The second task is to create an interactive themed environment featuring Trump National Doral and all its amenities.
The project managers are Ian and Kate. #TeamSteveSanders
Ian drops what is obviously the best line of the show: “If I’m going to throw somebody under the bus, it shouldn’t be a surprise to them, because they got the bus schedule.” #TeamSteveSanders
The tension and drama inevitably shifts over to Kenya and Vivica when Kate sends them shopping and they were late coming back, so start yelling at each other because that is clearly the productive thing to do in that scenario.
Kenya interviews that the set looks like crap and that she should have designed it rather than have been sent shopping. The problem is that all Kate has DONE is shop so as Project Manager, she needed a break. Kenya and Vivica shopped and bickered — probably because Kenya missed Brandi so much. Also, Kenya does say at one point she is all about the luxury, whereas Kate is not so much, and based on how the set looks, you have to believe it’s true. Geraldo behind a bar serving mixed drinks? I would expect that on a seniors cruise, not at a $364/night (I checked) hotel!
Brandi once again complains that Ian is a control freak. But the task this time around is far less interesting, if we’re being honest, so the drama involves shopping and then Ian yelling at Brandi for trying to move a sign that he made. Jeez, people. Perspective.
Brandi tells Trumpet in the boardroom that a dark cloud has been lifted from their team and Kenya acknowledges that low blow.
Kate’s team loses because they missed the mark completely on interactivity and presented a non-luxurious experience of the property. That’s four losses in a row for Geraldo if anyone is counting. Since Trumpet is all about the luxury, the lack of it was a huge issue, combined with Ian’s team doing a really good job with that — in addition to having a golf pro there to give tips on a mini course.
Kate blames the lack of luxury on lack of props — in other words, she blames Kenya and Vivica.
It’s harder to blame Geraldo for this loss, unfortunately — so Kate, as project manager, is fired. Really, she had no ground to stand on. She had no way of handling the stronger people on her team and her task suffered as a result.
But, back to Trumpet firing Sig after the first task. COME ON, DUDE. If this comes down to Geraldo and anyone else, I will be very mad. I think Ian vs. Leeza would be the best final, but what do I know? Until next week, forever and always #TeamSteveSanders.
