Six-time rehab failure Lindsay Lohan has apparently landed an eight-part reality series on the Oprah Winfrey Network, of all places.
Via People.com:
It's a sneak peek picture to promote the eight-part reality series, called Lindsay, premiering on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network Sunday, March 9.
The network promises an "honest, no-holds-barred account," of the 27-year-old actress's life, according to their release, which says, "She opens up as never before, discussing everything from her emotional recovery process to her exhausting run-ins with the paparazzi."
First of all, this picture of Lindsay Lohan reminds me of a distressed day shift hooker at the Jacksonville HoJo who just drove away a client. And 27? More like 47! Lay off the coke/booze/heroin, child.
Seond of all, "honest, no-holds barred account?" Yeah fucking right! Since when has LiHo EVER been honest? She's all, "yes, I'm sober," to anyone who will listen, and then when they blink, she's doing lines off a naked barback at a 4 a.m. bar in the Meat Packing District.
Third of all, I'm shocked and borderline offended that Oprah is running this trash. Oprah has built her empire on living a better life via the tough love of Dr. Phil, rolled in Clinique and dipped in a Rolls Royce. Yet she is willing to air this trainwreck on her network? I don't get it.
Furthermore, how does Lohan keep getting eighth, ninth and 199th chances? She has more than proven herself to be untrustworthy, but still has believers. Jimmy Fallon, for example.
You remember how Linds starred in Liz & Dick, right? Which was on Lifetime? Which should tell you all you need to know? Well, before its debut, Lohan went on Jimmy Fallon's talk show and he told her he thought she was going to win an Emmy for her performance.
If you google "Lindsay Lohan Emmy," your computer will explode, but I somehow found the clip of this show. Girlfriend must have some serious dirt on Jimmy for him to be able to say that to her with a straight face. She was even a part of his debut on The Tonight Show earlier this week, sadly.
This is yet another example of no talent ass clowns being rewarded for their talentless talents (wait, what?) and is sending out the lovely message that you can do as much coke as you want as long as you can show fake remorse on a reality show. Hope LiLo stashes away the money she makes doing this show for her next round of lawyer's fees.
