A new season of Game of Thrones is here, and we’re launching a series of recaps here at The Comeback. Today, we’re looking at the season six premiere, “The Red Woman.” And of course, we totally learned what’s going on with Bran Stark and whether or not Jon Snow is really dead, right? RIGHT?
Warning: spoilers from the books may be afoot. Since we’re all caught up, it shouldn’t be a big deal, but just in case, don’t complain.
At The Wall…
Jon Snow is dead. Well, for now, he’s still dead. Davos, Dolorous Edd, and a handful of other Night’s Watch members are locked in a room with Jon’s corpse, Ghost, and Melisandre. Alliser Thorne explains his decision to kill Jon to the rest of the Watch, and they seemingly accept it. Edd bolted to round up some wildlings to attack the Watch at The Wall (gee, doesn’t that sound familiar…), and that’s where we are.
Oh, and Melisandre is actually an old woman who is altering her appearance, revealing this to the viewers when she strips down to sleep. Huh. Well, then. She took Jon’s death quite hard, even though she has the power to bring him back (and maybe even give birth to another one of those shadow demons). If you can make yourself look like a gorgeous redhead, bringing back the Lord Commander from the dead should be easy.
Nothing from Bran and company with the Three-Eyed Raven. He was featured in the teaser for next week’s episode, so I guess he’ll be making an appearance in episode two. Unless, of course, that was a teaser for the rest of the season and we’ll end up getting a Bran update in episode eight.
Meanwhile, I assume Rickon and Osha got eaten by the cannibals on Skagos.
In The North…
I guess we’ll call him “Theon” instead of “Reek,” since he’s no longer a prisoner of Ramsay Bolton. Some Bolton forces found Theon and Sansa Stark after their escape from Winterfell, but before they could take them back to the castle, they were surprised by… THE WORLD’S GREATEST TAG TEAM, Brienne of Tarth and Podrick Payne!
Brienne took out a couple of the soldiers, while Pod got on the board with a kill of his own and Theon saved Pod’s life by taking out the last soldier. Then, Brienne once again pledged her services to Sansa, and she accepted. Brienne, Pod, Sansa, and Theon? They’re the new Four Horsemen! The quartet then seemingly decided to make way for The Wall, which won’t end well for anyone, given what’s about to go down up there.
Meanwhile, Ramsay mourned (sort of?) the murder of his sidepiece Myranda, and Roose Bolton strongly implied that if he couldn’t get Sansa back, he wouldn’t be the heir anymore. Great strategy, Roose — threaten to take away the last thing your insane son has left.
In King’s Landing…
This was actually kind of a boring week in the capital. Jaime Lannister showed up with the corpse of Myrcella, and Cersei was understandably devastated. The two of them vowed to stand by each other’s side until the end. Zombie Gregor Clegane showed up in one scene, standing around looking menacing. Bronn didn’t make a cameo, which is bullshit. No King Tommen, either — he’s the damn king, and can’t get an appearance in the premiere?
Queen Margaery is still imprisoned by the Faith Miltant, but the High Sparrow seemingly showed some mercy towards her. This storyline seems awful because the payoff doesn’t seem like it’ll really advance much of anything.
For all we know, Loras is still imprisoned as well. Margaery begged for updates on him, and got nothing. Neither did we. Hooray?
In Dorne…
HOLY SHIT, DORNE GOT WILD. Doran Martell received the news that Myrcella was dead, and his bodyguard Areo Hotah was stabbed in the back (literally) by Tyene Sand. A confused Doran is stabbed in the damn chest by Ellaria Sand, who berates him and seemingly claims the throne of Dorne for herself while the rest of Doran’s guards glare at his dying body.
On a boat returning from King’s Landing, Trystane Martell is confronted by Nymeria and Obara Sand, is told they’re going to kill him, and is stabbed through the back of his head by Obara. Oh. OK. I guess this is the end of legitimate Martell family line, since all of the Sand Snakes are Oberyn’s bastards and Arianne and Quentyn Martell haven’t shown up in the show.
Across the Narrow Sea…
In Braavos, Arya is blind and begging on the streets. The Waif shows up and beats the crap out of her with a stick while telling her to listen. I assume this will lead to another secret assassination mission when Arya learns to pay attention, which is what happened in the books.
In Meereen, Varys and Tyrion Lannister stroll around the city talking about the Sons of the Harpy and the departure of Daenerys. We don’t learn much of anything, aside from Tyrion’s Valyrian being shitty. Oh, and someone burns Daenerys’s entire fleet of ships. Guess she’s not going back to Westeros any time soon. No sightings of Missandei or Grey Worm, though some Unsullied are seen (from a distance) running to the burning ships.
On the Dothraki Sea, Jorah Mormont and Daario Naharis search for Daenerys. Jorah finds her ring, Daario sees a massive army of Dothraki, and the pair put two and two together and realize the Dothraki took Daenerys. The dynamic duo is just a bit outnumbered, so who knows what the hell they’ll end up doing.
Finally, in Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys is presented to Khal Mono. After initially deciding to rape her, he relents (phew) when he learns she’s the widow of Khal Drogo. But instead of letting her go back to Meereen, Mono informs her that widows of Khals get to spend the rest of their lives at the Temple of Dosh Khaleen in Vaes Dothrak. It always comes back to temples, doesn’t it?
It Is Known…
Like most of the season premieres, this episode mainly set the stage for the rest of the season. Sansa is free of Ramsay (for now), and has a posse that can both protect her and get her an army (from The Wall, wildlings, other houses in the North, or through Theon and the Iron Islands). Ramsay is pissed off and paranoid, and could up end attacking The Wall. The Night’s Watch is in disorder following Jon’s murder, and the last thing they need is wildlings, the Bolton army, and internal strife all coming together at once.
Dorne seems to be preparing for war with King’s Landing and the Lannisters. Jaime and Cersei know this, but it’s doubtful Tommen will order them to do anything considering he’s still upset about Margaery being locked up. With Margaery imprisoned and Mace Tyrell (still?) somewhere between King’s Landing and Braavos, Highgarden and the Tyrells probably won’t end up lending a hand to the Lannisters and the crown. Now that’s what I call a sticky situation.
In Meereen, we seem destined to see the return of the Varys/Tyrion buddy cop flick as they look to find out who ordered the attack on the pit fight, the same person presumably responsible for the burning of Daenerys’s fleet and the leader of the Sons of the Harpy. Since we barely know any characters in Meereen, this is going to be a giant Westerosi plot, isn’t it?
Speaking of Daenerys, it seems like her enslavement by the Dothraki is going to end with a Drogon barbecue and probably a grayscale-inflicted Jorah sacrificing his life. It makes too much sense. Maybe she’ll get an army of Dothraki to… Game of Thrones season 6, episode 1 recap: The Red Womanoh, right. Her ships are burned. Never mind.
Their Watch Has Ended…
A handful of Bolton soldiers, Areo Hotah, Doran Martell, Trystane Martell, Doran Martell’s messenger.
